I’m getting pretty sick of people getting on my case about using the word retarded. I say something is retarded and they’re like, “Hey you can’t talk like that you Ginger, Virgin, Faggot. It might offend people!” Huddle up  primates and hear this. Retarded/Retard/Retardation is just a word and it has a definition. It means, “to slow or delay, to impede, to prevent, to cause failure, to hinder.” So if I ask for a Sprite at a restaurant and they say, “is Sierra Mist okay?” I say, “No, that’s retarded” because it is hindering my efforts to drink a fucking Sprite.

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Listen, I agree with you that the dumbshit who decided to define handicaps as “retardations” seems like a total prick now-a-days. Retarded has the implication of broken, wrong, or a problem, while the more apt understanding would be something along the lines of “differently-abled.” At this point I’m not even sure what the correct or acceptable way to refer to the condition of mental handicaps is, but I’m sure it’s not as a retardation. But I’m not the one who decided on that association, so why do I get shit-on for using the word correctly. No one gets upset with the phrase “fire retardant;” but if using the word retarded if offensive to the disabled then it’s just as offensive to products that fire-proof things.

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I would never intentionally cause offense to those who are differently-abled in mental capacity. I harbor no ill feelings towards them and have no reason to discriminate against them, but I just don’t know what is Politically Correct/Kosher at this point. But I’m not going to stop using the word retarded just because your only understanding of the word comes from the societal offensive-association of the word. That’s like if I said, “That grill is flaming” and you were like, “Hey that’s offensive to gay people;” or if I said, “That bus is yellow” and you were like, “Hey that’s offensive to Asians and racist.” You are just projecting your offensive connotation of the harmless and innocuous word onto me and frankly, that’s fucking retarded.